Words that bring a warm reassuring feeling to a physicist like me (and conversely, probably puts some of you in a cold sweat). You may remember how this fundamental law of physics explains how energy is conserved as it is exchanged between it’s various forms. Those might be kinetic (movement), potential (e.g. height), chemical (e.g. exploding dynamite) and E=mc² from special relativity.

I’m going to upset Scotty and generations of notable physicists – I’VE CREATED ENERGY !

Over recent weeks I’ve had conversations with people about their aspirations, hopes, dreams, passions, plans, beliefs, values, circumstances. I concluded every conversation feeling energised by what I had heard. According to the law of physics, that must have been at their expense. So a few days after meeting, I surveyed them online and 7-out-of-7 respondents gave the same anonymised feedback – their energy levels had increased too. I probably need to develop the experiment to see if energy is exchanged with other factors in the laboratory environment such as the coffee, sandwiches, cakes etc which were definitely depleted in the process.

Energy creation is not always the experience. We’ve all had conversations with negative, backbiting, grumbling, dour moaners that have left us feeling depleted & exhausted. In these cases, I suspect the other party wasn’t left feeling uplifted from the discussion either. Perhaps this also contravenes that law of physics given energy is being destroyed? 

We’d all like positive, up-building, energising conversations all the time. But in some circumstances they cannot be – for example where there is bereavement, loss, sadness, despair. In these cases our expectations should rightly be different. To be truly empathic, we need to sacrificially enter into the pain with the other person. 

So how do we maximise the chances of having an energising conversation whilst also showing understanding and empathy when appropriate?